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If you love your family, never play a board game

I knew my wife had made a mistake as soon as our son opened the Christmas present. He pulled off the colorful wrapping paper and revealed something even more colorful underneath, a board game.

But the only color I saw was blood because this wasn’t any board game – it was Risk.

What had she done? This is like saying, “I present you, my loving family, with the gift of resentment this Christmas.” I’m pretty sure a ghost visited Ebenezer Scrooge to give him Risk. It was The Ghost of Christmas I Want to Punch Your Face.

To be fair, I don’t think my wife has ever played Risk. If she had, she’d know the game’s not called Risk because of anything that happens on the board. It’s called Risk because every time a family plays it, there’s the risk of neighbors calling the police.

Risk is a simple game. It’s a map of the world and players have only one goal – to spend roughly three hours crushing every other player and taking their land. Land acquisition has never caused problems in real life, has it?

The complete story is in the Friday, Feb. 9, 2018 Richmond News.

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