Jack Remembers: A helpful tip on how to get that $25 million out of the country

By Jack Hackley

I just got an email from Capt. John Anthony with the 4th Battalion, 64th Armored Regiment Unit that patrols the Helmend Province of Afghanistan.
He told me he was seeking my assistance to evacuate the sum of $25,000,000 United States dollars so that he could be assured it would be safe in my care until he returns to the States.
He has agreed to offer me a reasonable percentage of the total sum of money (40 percent) as gratification for my assistance and cooperation.  He says it is $100 bills throughout and will be contained in one trunk box.
He will tag the box “personal effects” and ship it out of Afghanistan though a special diplomatic scheme, with the help of a Canadian diplomat.  He also wanted me to keep this highly confidential.
He then went into detail as to why he had chosen me.  “Yes, I know, you may be wondering why I choose to trust a delicate matter like this in the care of a stranger, but this is the best we can do in my present situation.  I would have trusted this kind of project in the hands of my wife who was my closest confidant, but I lost her to cancer on 22nd April 2006, and my only brother has ruined his life with hard drugs, hence my decision to work with a neutral person.”
One thing about being my age, you get a lot of opportunities to become a multi-millionaire by helping some banker, public official or widow in getting large sums of money out of Nigeria.  The one drawback to making those big dollars is you always have to send the widow or banker money to bribe an official in order to get the money out of the country.
The above email was a new twist.  I had just printed an article a few weeks ago about how the CIA was giving the President of Afghanistan, Hamid Karzia, a sack full of hundred dollar bills every month amounting to tens of millions of dollars over the past years.  I thought maybe Capt. John Anthony had found where Hamid had stashed the cash.
Capt.Anthony called me, in broken English, wanting a few thousand dollars to get the box out of the country.  I told him since 40 percent of the money was mine, he had my permission to open the box back up and take the bribe money out of original $25 million.  Lo and behold, Captain John Anthony hung up on me.

Jack can be reached at PO Box 40, Oak Grove, MO 64075 or  Visit

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