Whirled Peas: Guess it’s why they call it the blues

By Dennis Carlson

elton-john-and-kiki-dee-dont-go-breaking-my-heart-1976-2The other day at work a song I hadn’t heard in years started running through my head. It wouldn’t leave me alone. All day long Elton John and Kiki Dee were singing “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” every time I tried to focus my thoughts. It was very irritating.
Later when I had the time I decided to take a walk around the inside of my head to find out how it happened. Apparently in the corner of my mind is an old cardboard box labeled “Music That Irritates Me” had sprung a leak. Elton, Weird Al, some song about a troglodyte and a host of tunes better left unsung were leaking out to haunt my thought processes. I pulled out a roll of duct tape and patched the breach as well as I could.
I decided to take a look around while I was there. The room I was in was full of dusty boxes that were piled high with old memories and things I had learned in my lifetime.  I guess it was part of my compartmentalized thinking that is supposed to be a distinctly male trait. I noticed though that most of them had holes and a little of each boxes’ contents was leaking out. I was going to need more tape. Where the contents of two or three boxes mingled together there was a mess of confusion. Electronic theory mingled with the History Channel and pictures of people I had known with the names erased. On top of the mess floated incomplete ideas for my Whirled Peas column. They all seemed to wrestle each other for my attention.
It took a bit, but I eventually discovered the source of the leaks. Apparently ADD was running around tearing at the boxes and causing the leaks. I threw a cup of coffee at it and seemed to slow it down for a little while.  I knew that a nap was the only thing that would stop it completely so I left and headed for my easy chair. During my nap Elton and Kiki came to me in a dream and we went fly fishing.
And all was as it should be.

Denny Carlson lives in Holt with his wife and their cat. Write him at

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