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Jack Remembers: Ball of twine, bowl of wax: There’s nothing to see in Kansas, folks

By Jack Hackley

Gov. Brownback and the Kansas legislature have been criticized for lowering taxes, and cutting services and funding for the poor and education.
That doesn’t bother me.  What bothers me is they are committing fraud with a new television commercial urging people to visit Kansas for their vacation.  In the commercial they show scenes of a Capitol dome, a field full of sunflowers, a herd of buffalo, and a rodeo.
I spent four months at Fort Riley during the winter and can assure you Kansas is the most miserable state in the Union.  It was cold and the wind blew all the time.We finally got a pass to come home and when we crossed the state line the wind quit blowing.
A few years ago, Laura and I took the Southwest Chief to Flagstaff, Ariz.  The train left Kansas City at midnight. When we woke up the next morning, we were in Colorado.  Even Amtrak doesn’t torture their customers by showing them the state of Kansas.
Actually, Kansas has two tourist attractions, the world’s largest hand-dug well, and the world’s largest ball of twine.
One time I was driving to Liberal in southwest Kansas to look at a mobile home park that was for sale.  I kept seeing signs advertising the world’s largest hand-dug well.  When I got to Greenburg I needed a break so I pulled in.  When I found out they charged, I headed on down the road.  I would rather be seen driving a Japanese car than pay for looking at a hole in the ground in Kansas.
I later found out there are several hand-dug wells that are larger in both Italy and Greece.
I will concede one thing, they do have the world’s largest ball of twine.  It is located in Cawker City.  There is enough twine in the ball to reach 1,510 miles.  The people in Kansas who can’t afford to vacation at the Lake of the Ozarks or Branson go up to Cawker city and add a few more miles to the twine ball every year.
The next time I see the commercial, if I don’t throw up first, I am going to turn off the television.

Jack can be reached at PO Box 40, Oak Grove, MO 64075 or jackremembers@aol.com.  Visit www.jackremembers.com

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