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We’ve been ‘flocked’ – Plague of the pink flamingoes hits Richmond

Residents in Richmond and surrounding areas should be on the look out for a flock, maybe two, of pink flamingoes that might have chosen this flight path for their migration.
“I had just got out of the shower after working outside this morning,” said Shirley Schooley of Richmond. “I looked outside and they were just landing.”
Indeed they were.
These rosy, long-legged, long-necked avians didn’t fly in and land like regular flamingoes. No, they were seen arriving with a woman in a van.
The mystery woman just moved to Richmond from Texas. Renee “Pinkie” Claire has already made an impact on the city, and not just via the flamingoes. Her friendly, outgoing manner has already endeared her to her neighbors and the children at Sunrise Elementary where she has been working as a substitute teacher.
“Pinkie” helped all 50 of the pink birds out of their box, and soon they were happily ‘wandering’ around the Schooley’s yard, probably searching for tasty tidbits.
The Schooley’s soon learned they were “flocked” by Janet Sneed, also of Richmond, who soon arrived at the site of the ‘flocking,’ and admitted she was the reason the flock had appeared. She handed them a paper.
“On behalf of Relay for Life and the team, “United for Life,” you were chosen as the special recipient of this amazing, pink-beaked panorama…however, sadly, your enjoyment is only temporary.”
Yes, it came with instructions regarding how to get the beauties to migrate on.
“It’s simple, for a generous donation of $10, we will have one of our highly trained professionals come to your yard to capture and cage these exotic beauties. Please do not try this on your own, as we are not responsible for injuries resulting from amateur removal. Please call Head of Flocking Security, Renee Claire, 816-776-5150 or Patty Claire at 816-255-0400.”
There are other options open for those that wish to “flock” someone else, and for those who wish to protect themselves from potential migration that results in “flocking.”
The flyer continues: “It would be a shame to keep such magnificent specimens caged…we are offering you the opportunity to become a part of our early release program. For a generous donation of $10, we will be happy to encourage these flamboyant flamingoes to migrate to another yard of your choice.”
That caught Shirley’s attention. “I’m planning most definitely on who I’m going to ‘flock.’” And, by the time onlookers were leaving, Shirley already knew who was ‘next.’
The next part of the flyer offers protection.
“Should you have a sneaking suspicion that another flocking from our winged wonders may be in your future, do not despair. We’ve got you covered – with insurance that is. Yes, ‘flocking’ insurance is now available for a considerate one-time donation of $10 (for this migration.) After paying this premium, you will not be ‘flocked’ again (during this migration period) – guaranteed.”
The ‘anti-flocking’ policy is through Pinkie Insurance Agency.
The Relay for Life will be the first part of June – and Shirley is prepared to pay the $10 capture and cage fee, and the $10 migration fee to get the pink parade to move along.
Residents, be on the lookout for Pinkie and her plethora of playful, plentiful, and plastic, but peaceful pink beakies. If the calls become numerous, as hoped, the flock may split or, worse, grow larger.
Photo: It’s not a common sight to see a flock of 50 pink flamingoes land in your yard, and they certainly surprised Richmond residents Kenneth and Shirley Schooley. They appeared on Monday afternoon and set up residence fairly quickly, but Shirley is armed with the info about how to get them to move on. From left, Kenneth and Shirley Schooley, Janet Sneed and Renee Claire (Photo by Brenda Jensen/The Daily News)

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